There for me always
Well, it's getting colder in Boone. I can tell winter is on its way. With winter comes a whole mess of worries. It's coming up on the three year anniversary of Papaw's death. I'm terrified. I feel like it's been so much longer than three years. My bad days are coming back and I hate it. Most of all, I hate feeling like I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Or at least I used to hate that feeling. But that's gone now. I've found someone who I can talk to about anything. I never thought I would be able to tell someone everything I'm feeling and have them at least try to understand, but he does. He has given me some hope that I'll come out of this and that there will be someone there waiting for me when I do. He even told me that if I need to see someone, even if I'm in Boone, he'll be there the next morning if not that night. I started crying when I read that. I'm not sure why and they weren't sad tears. I guess I just finally realized that I'm not alone, that someone is actually there to be there for me. I could never tell him how grateful I am for that because I haven't been able to actually talk to anyone about it. He told me to call him if I feel sad at all this week. Never in my life have I felt like somebody cares about me so much besides my family and Hannah. At the same time he's making it really hard to get over him. Then again, I don't know if I'm supposed to be getting over him. Some of the things he says and the things he does makes me second guess it. I just need to figure this out.
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