Head vs. Heart
Sometimes I just want to tell her to stay away from you. But then I remember that I don't really have a right to do that. You're not mine after all. I just can't help but feel that little voice in the back of my head telling me that I have a reason to be jealous. But again...do I have a right to be jealous? In "Breakfast At Tiffany's" Audrey Hepburn's character tries to argue that people don't belong to each other but the guy who is in lover with her argues that people do belong to each other. I'm not sure who I agree with. I know I can't say that you belong to me and I belong to you but I can't lie, it sounds nice. Then I keep thinking about it. I don't know if it's fair to say that someone "belongs" to someone else. I know you can belong with someone but can you really belong to someone? To belong to is defined as: to be the property of. Well, there's another definition too: to be a part of. To be a part of sounds a lot better than to be the property of. That makes a lot more sense in these terms. But who is to say that is the definition? I'd like to think it is because that would make things a little easier to understand. I'm not about to have someone think that I am their property and I don't want someone to be my property. I'd rather have their heart than their physical sense of self. A heart means so much more to me. I've realized that's my greatest strength but my greatest downfall at the same time. I've always cared too much...followed my heart more than I've followed my head. Many times that has brought me happiness. But many times it has also brought me heart ache. I often rely on my heart to give me an answer. Well, what if I need to start listening to my head? Would it save me from some of that heartache this time? Right now, my heart is telling me not to give up on him but my head is telling me that I need to focus on me...and while I'm worrying about him I can't do that. He's one of my closest friends though. How do I keep that but give up my feelings for him? I just don't understand what I'm supposed to do. I know things happen for a reason but I'd like to be able to know what the best decision is so I can save myself the pain and tears that I know will come depending on my decision. I'm ready to say it but I don't know if he's ready to hear it. Well, he might just have to deal with it because right now, I'm at my breaking point. I can't take it anymore.
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