New guy?

| at 6:40 PM

There comes a time in life when we just want to give up and then by some miracle, someone or something happens to us that makes us reconsider. Just a couple of weeks ago I wanted to throw in the towel in terms of finding someone. Then he walked into my life. I feel like we're playing a game with each other. We would make eye contact from across the room and quickly look away, pretending neither of us had noticed. Then we ended up beside each other on the ride home and I couldn't (or wouldn't?) shut up. There was something about him that just made me never want to look away. I didn't know if I would hear from him after that night but I did. We started texting but both of us would wait a while to answer the other. And so the game continued. Two dates in one week? Could this really be happening? I don't want to get my hopes up just for them to be let down again but at the same time how can I not? He has already proven to be unlike any other guy so far. I honestly hope this continues. He makes me all flustered just thinking about him...and our impending dates.

On top of all of this though, D is leaving for basic training in ten short days. I might get to see him for a few hours before then. How do I say bye to him after almost three years of friendship? He'll be gone for four months but I don't even want to think about. I've been trying to write the first letter to him for months now but for some reason it just never comes out right. There's so much I want to say to him and I don't quite know how to say it all in one letter. Needless to say, I am going to miss him endlessly.
I feel like things are finally falling into place. I've accepted that D and I were always destined to just be friends. Now maybe I can let this new guy in. Maybe he'll be the one to make me see that there is more out there and that I really do deserve better than to be treated like I have been.
Watching Pride and Prejudice and Becoming Jane back to back might not be good for my mental health.

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