Figuring this out
Today is yet another day where I will have to tell myself many times to just keep going. I had another dream about him last night. I'm not sure why I'm dreaming about him so much all of a sudden. I know he doesn't care about me or anything that happened so I don't why I'm having dreams in which he does care. A lot of people would just tell me to not think about it but then again, those people don't really know me. I overthink everything. I know this will all be over eventually but right now it's just a little hard to deal with. On top of that I just found out my big is de-sistering. Now I will be the only girl in my pledge class without a big. I feel completely and utterly let down. It makes me think that if I had never confronted her that she wouldn't have told and just let me find out on Sunday at chapter. I know she has legit reasons to but the least she could have done was tell me when she made this decision. I just feel a little blind sighted. So what happens now? Do they give me a new big or am I just left to fend for myself? I guess I'll just have to figure it out as I go along.
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